I was abused when I was younger. Too young to fully comprehend it…

“Self-compassion is the most important word that exists. Without it, all other words that otherwise would immediately jump out at first thought like love, kindness and empathy can’t exist to their full potential. And it’s never too late to learn the meaning of it.

I was abused when I was younger. Too young to fully comprehend it. Instead of confiding in anyone, I was ashamed and I felt I had to forget it. Throughout the aftermath years my physical and mental health deteriorated, and it got to a point where I had lost the connection to myself and lost who I was. I was struck with a barrage of harrowing illnesses, psychosis being the most difficult to live with. That was when the inner voices began incessantly screaming suicidal thoughts so loud I could no longer hear what anybody was saying to me. Things happened very quickly from there and I ended up in psychiatric care for a month. It seemed like the beginning of the end, but it wasn’t. I learned self-compassion. And for the first time in my life I could say something gentle to myself.

When I was hospitalized, I couldn’t keep my mental health a secret any longer. People were asking about me. Where I was and why I was missing college. So I decided I’d be honest about it for the first time and I asked a friend to put a post out on my Facebook profile. I received so much love and support that I just couldn’t believe it. Everyone I knew sent good wishes and gifts, and so many came to visit me. I was so ashamed for years for no reason at all, and it made me wonder how many other people are in the same shoes.

If you or someone you know is having a tough time, the best thing you can possibly do is talk about it. I know I am lucky to have a wonderful family who got me the best care conceivably possible, and the most incredible group of friends whose closeness didn’t wean but became stronger when I was at my lowest. But they couldn’t have helped me if I hadn’t opened up to them when I needed them. It takes a lot of courage to open up, but it’s the only road to recovery. The pain you’re feeling now will end. I know it will. I promise you.”

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