My husband and I were together since I was fourteen…

“My husband and I were together since I was fourteen. We had six children and a happy life together but 20 years ago, he had a massive heart attack and left his whole family behind. Paul, my third child, admired his father so much and losing him took a big toll. He had a relationship with someone who already had two children, it was good and it was bad. Every now and then he would come home and say he was finished with her. It put a lot of strain on the family and his mental state got even worse when they did break up. That was when his depression started. At our very first doctor’s visit, they recommended for us to go to the hospital… He was in for a week, taking two tablets a day and then they just let him out the door, without a check-up, without any advice, nothing. A few weeks later he was back being depressed again, there were days when he couldn’t leave the bed. So I took him to the doctor again, but every time we went back they would just up his dose. After a while, he was like a zombie. He would come to me saying, ‘Mom, I’m not feeling okay, I feel I’m going crazy’. I got him counselling but he felt like no one was listening. He stopped looking for his friends, he would turn off his phone and spent days in his room. My daughter would hear him going to sleep crying. I didn’t understand what was going on and I had no idea who to turn to… One day, I left for just an hour, and when I got back, he had taken his own life. He was depressed, but I reckon the tablets ruined him even more… We desperately needed help and our health care system failed him. I wish Pieta House was around earlier…”

Patricia Turner is a committee member with Darkness Into Light for Pieta House, Preventing Suicide and Self Harm in Tralee, Co. Kerry. Darkness into Light 2018 takes place across the country on Saturday, May 12th at 4.15am and is proudly supported by Electric Ireland