The first time I ever had sex, I didn’t want to. I said no. I said it twice.

“The first time I ever had sex, I didn’t want to. I said no. I said it twice. I had barely turned 15… He was 18 and much bigger than me. He locked the door and didn’t use a condom. Afterwards, we went back out to the field where his friends were, and I went home and cried. The worst bit about it all was how I felt my feelings weren’t valid. Okay, I said no, but I didn’t fight or scream. I thought I could have done more. It’s been 16 years, and I didn’t even call it rape until maybe the last year or two. I’ve never really spoken about it, apart from with those who are really close to me but I listened to the latest episode of Radio Lab Podcast. It was about consent, and I can’t stop thinking about it. I feel like everyone should listen to it. Consent is still such a massive grey area for some people. If you’ve never gone through it yourself it can be hard to really grasp the feelings of people who may have been abused, taken advantage of, or just pushed too far. These are stories that need to be told.”