I thought I had control. I just wanted to get over the pain…

“Living in the flats was never easy, the place was always filled with drama. People screaming and falling out of windows. People dying was just a regular part of life here… My husband was stabbed and died when I was 29. We were nearly seven years together, my eldest was two at the time. It happened the same year as both of my parents being diagnosed and dying of cancer, only four months apart. All that in one year… I couldn’t handle the grief and the loneliness. I had never touched hard drugs before, but I was in so much pain that I called and blackmailed my sister to give me some. She was addicted since she was ten-years-old. She put some on the top of my cigarette and I smoked it… It made me so relaxed and all my worries just suddenly flew out the window. I thought I had control. I just wanted to get over the pain and deal with the grief but a few months later I wasn’t able to function without it and I ended up renting out my own room to get paid with lines of heroin while I slept on the couch. I was addicted for over a year when I finally decided to stop and I went on a treatment plan. I was on Methadone and the grief was starting to pull back slowly and I started to realize I lost a full year of my life and didn’t solve anything. I’m lucky to be clean now and able to look after my grandchildren, most of the people I knew are dead. People need to understand that drugs are a horrible disease and people like myself need help, not punishment…”

This post was highlighted by Ana Liffey Drug Project and the North East Inner City Programme Office.

The Ana Liffey Drug Project have expanded their services to respond to the identified needs of the North East Inner City. This team are providing hands-on support services to individuals experiencing difficulties with addiction in the community. #SaferFromHarm 
Find out more here!