I’m not quite sure how it started but I know I was in a dark place at the time

“The bullying started affecting me so bad I used to lie in bed the night before school thinking it would be easier to just kill myself than go through another day of it. The only thing that stopped me was the impact it would have on my family. It wasn’t my area. I was sent there to give me every opportunity to succeed professionally and in life generally. But no one had my back and I was part of a culture and a family where men didn’t talk about feelings and I was ashamed and embarrassed I was allowing it to happen. I didn’t even have the language or the confidence to communicate what I felt. I’m not quite sure how it started but I know I was in a dark place at the time. I collected knives from a young age. Sometimes I would just drink until I couldn’t feel anything anymore and started hacking at my arms and chest. The physical pain for me was far easier to manage the one I felt in my head and my heart. Cutting myself was the only way I knew to express it. This went on intermittently for years until a friend I was living with at the time found out. I got so drunk one night self-harming in my room I forgot there was someone else in the house. I walked downstairs without a top, covered in blood. I grabbed a bottle from the fridge and when I turned around, I saw my housemate sitting in the chair, horrified at the sight of me. I knew things needed to change so I reached out for help…”

David Keegan – Co-Founder of First Fortnight
Let’s open up together about mental health!

Find out more: www.firstfortnight.ie