peter
“I have mental health issues which I’ve been struggling with since I was thirteen. Recently, I fell into significant depression, and I constantly have this voice in my head saying: ‘Just kill yourself! You are not worthy, just go and kill yourself!’ I keep myself busy doing a million things at the same time to keep it quiet… In reality, I speak seven languages, I study Molecular Medicine in Trinity College. I also work in art and design and actively used this to fundraise and support the Repeal movement, but that voice never really goes away. The only reason I’m still in Trinity is because I kind of learnt to co-exist with that voice in my head. But its a cruel balancing act. I have also had to learn not to pretend everything is fine because that would have taken an even bigger toll on my health. However, the not pretending is the most difficult part in an environment such as Trinity, where it’s taken for granted that if you are there, you are expected to behave accordingly with a certain level of privilege. You are supposed to behave as if you are a white person, who has a lot of money, whose life is stable and have parents with influence. You are not supposed to be like me, someone with mental health issues waiting on a public healthcare service a migrant who has lived without a fixed home for a year, someone with just enough money to keep me above water. It seems if you can’t hide your issues, there is no place for you in academia. I guess Trinity didn’t get its fame for being progressive, but not being progressive about inclusion and mental health is not a great example to set.”
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